The Ridiculous and the Sublime

"Revelation... Transformation... Authentic Self... Higher Self... Access... Capacity"

By themselves, the words above seem harmless, or even uplifting. And yet, I cringe each time I hear a yoga teacher use them. What I call New Age Speak has become a pet peeve of mine.

I was at a yoga retreat several years back, studying in an idyllic setting with a celebrity yoga teacher. I was completely distracted by what she was teaching because she was using all these New Age buzzwords (and other words that I am almost positive she had made up). I became irritated because I couldn't understand why would she use these words, when there are others that are far more easily understood and less trendy. Was she was trying to compensate for feeling insecure? Did she want us all to know how much philosophy and psychology she had studied? Does she really talk this way in her everyday life?

I'm sure that some people do speak this way in everyday conversations. However, when we are trying to appeal to everyone and anyone, it's important - in my opinion - that we chose language that goes down easily.

From the Ridiculous...

I gave a stress management talk for a human resources summit once, and I asked them to stand up and do some yogic breathing. As I was talking them through an aligned standing posture, I mentioned the word "buttocks". A few nervous giggles broke out, and pretty soon the entire room of over 100 was laughing. I was so used to using anatomical terms that I forgot to change my language for the layperson. Years later, I still remember that lesson.

Last night, I watched a yoga documentary that included interviews with several of modern yoga teachers who are globally recognized. These teachers were asked to explain different aspects of the yoga practice and why it was so powerful. Some of them articulated the complex concepts with clarity and everyday language. Some of them used so many of these buzzwords that I became distracted again. I had to rewind the video several times, and by the end of the documentary, I was very annoyed.

So, here's my rant:

New Age speak does not make your ideas more available; in fact, it can distance you from your audience. If you are going to use an unusual term, explain it; don't assume people know what you mean. There are always easier ways to explain whatever concept you are trying to get across. And,

if you don't know the concept well enough to phrase it in a simple way, then maybe you shouldn't be talking about it.

...To the Sublime

By contrast, when I am with a teacher who does have a clear grasp of the concept as well as the ability to express it in a way the audience will understand, those concepts sink in and take hold more easily for me. In those cases, I feel all the understanding was already there, hidden inside a locked case, but I just needed the right words to open the lock. Comprehension floods in and takes root. Those are the concepts that I can then easily express, without the need for fancy, flowery, superfluous New Age speak.

An Unlikely Ashtangi

"You have to take this class. It's incredible, and the teacher is such a gift."

Mary had been singing the same song to me for months now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I thought, resisting the idea that I could even survive the class, let alone enjoy it. She was speaking about the Mysore class, which meets each weekday morning - early in the morning.

"Whatever it is that you think it is, it's not. Just come and try it."

I trusted Mary's opinion. She had been taking classes with me for years. She knew many of my teachers, and she has been on the yoga path for long enough to be able to discern quality in a practice as well as the teacher delivering that practice. But...

The time slot just didn't work for me...
I didn't move that well that early in the morning (my home practice ideally started closer to 9 am)...
My chronic neck pain might flare with all that weight bearing on my arms...
... The list went on and on.

And then one day, all those barriers fell away.

To be honest, the catalyst was me stepping on the scale and seeing that my weight had gone up significantly. I hadn't been doing anything really physical because of my pain, and the numbers reflected a more couch potato lifestyle that I was heading towards. I committed to making a change, and then the universe removed the obstacles:

The time slot grew wider; "come any time, Monday through Thursday between 6:00-8:45 am to do your practice at your own pace."

My home practice was no longer working; when school started, my daughter and husband began getting up earlier, and my son's work schedule kept him home most mornings. Trying to fit in an hour - or even 30 minutes - while my family went about their morning routines became too difficult.

I came to a point with my chronic pain that I wasn't willing to limit myself anymore. Through trial and error, I learned the poses that made things go from uncomfortable to unbearable, and I started a conversation with the teacher, Erika Abrahamian, about what I could do. I wrote to her that, because of my limitations, "my practice is a little messy." She replied,

"Modifications are fine... We all practice messily."

And with that, I stepped into the Mysore room 2 months ago, and haven't left.

It surprised me that I lasted a week. Then a month. But there is something so embracing in the Mysore room, like I've come home. I've always loved libraries; they have been my sanctuary - my temple, even - for years. The hush that some people find oppressive, I find soothing. I feel that in the Mysore room. Conversations are only as loud as necessary. The sounds are limited to breathing, stepping, falling, stretching, doors opening, laughter and the occasional "yesss" from Erika that always makes me smile, even if it's not directed towards me.

That's the thing with Mysore: you feel connected. 

I cheer on Matece's handstand drop, or Jennifer's drop back, or Tony's silent jump through, just as much as I cheer on my own twist in revolved side angle pose (with my back knee down and my hands just resting on my thigh, not pressing, because I want to twist from my torso strength, not my arms).

I think of this practice as the first layer of soil at the top of the Grand Canyon, and I am slowly - every so slowly - making my way down to the canyon floor.

For those of you curious, or maybe doubtful about your own ability to take on this practice, let me paint you a picture of what my practice looks like:

It is slow. Super slow. I could easily spend 3 hours, because I luxuriate in each breath and I'm careful with each transition.

I don't practice all of the sequence of poses called the Primary Series, even if I could remember which pose to do next. I keep my breaths the same as those doing all the poses, but I skip or modify what I consider risky for my situation.

The 2-chair headstand setup

I use a lot of props. Erika began teasing me about the chairs, blankets and blocks that I use to construct my inversion "forts" as a way to keep the weight off my neck.

I meditate at the end of my practice. Apparently, this became a "thing" in the Mysore room, and now more people are concluding their practice with some time in a seated meditation. Who knew this limited, slow poke yogini could influence that kind of wonderful-ness?

I've had some good days, where I did more than one Chaturanga (a low push up). I've had some frustrating days, when my back or my neck rebelled against the practice completely. I keep going. I know these are not the best and worst days that I will have in this practice. Last week, I tried to skip going to the Mysore room and doing a portion of the practice at home instead, because my pain was intense and kept me awake most of the night. The very next day, I returned to the Mysore room; my home practice wasn't enough for me, and not just because of the limited poses. There is something so compelling about going through your practice, but doing it together with others.

There is an energy in the Mysore room that keeps you going, pulling you along when you're flagging. 

Sometimes I space out and look around... okay, a lot of times I space out and look around. There are some really athletic yogis in the room, some who do the entire series - with all the gymnastic transitions that are available, and it's beautiful to watch. There are yoga studio owners (plural) who show up each week. There are yoga teachers - lots of teachers, from multiple studios. There are folks who have been practicing these sequences for years. There are some who have just started, like me. There are people in their twenties and some that might be 3 times that, but I would never guess their true age. Dedication, intention and grace has a youthful effect.


I know I had to come to this practice under certain circumstances. I'm so happy that I did. I can feel changes in me, week by week. They are slow, and it's only when I step back and gain some perspective that I really notice. I feel the same way in the Grand Canyon, by the way! Maybe next month I'll explore the next layer...

Announcements

• Share my blog with others, and invite them to sign up. This is one of the best ways I have to get news out to you all!
• Dec 8 1:30-4:00: Winter Wellness, a Gentle Yoga Workshop for Your Health, at Willow Glen Yoga. See the Events page for more info.
• Remember, if you can't make it to class, you can always pop in my DVD, Healing Yoga for Wellness, available online at www.amazon.com and www.eBay.com, and in stores at Breathe Los Gatos, Pacific Healing Arts, Cancer CAREpoint resource center, East West Bookshop and Kaiser Mind-Body-Wellness center.
  

Yoga 4 Cancer Teacher Training

"Don't you already teach yoga to people with cancer?" My son asked me when I told him I was leaving for the weekend to attend the Y4C training.

"Yes," I replied, and added with a cavalier attitude, "I'm going just to get the certificate, so that I can say that I'm trained; I'm not expecting to get much out of it."

Ha. What arrogance!

This program is founded and led by Tari Prinster, a yoga instructor (and cancer survivor) who you may have seen in the movie, Yogawoman. The first thing Tari did was ask us to examine our biases about cancer, those who have cancer and yoga. At the end of our training, she asked us to revisit these beliefs and notice if any of them changed.

She went on to explain how the body naturally defends itself against cancer, what cancer is, and specifically what our yoga practices are doing to the body. She does this in a way that is easy to understand, but with enough information that even the scientists in the group learned something new.

Once we had a clue and could visualize what was happening in our bodies with cancer cells and our yoga practices, Tari went into greater detail about treatments and side effects that might be experienced.

I spent a lot of time remembering students who had set down their mats in my class with the hope of feeling some sense of normalcy and relief. I nodded along with the discussions and offered what I knew, still thinking of myself as an authority.

That all changed on the second weekend of the training...

Tari had us step into the role of a cancer survivor, using various everyday items to help us feel what it is like to have extra weight, tightness from surgery, limited range of motion from reconstruction, swelling loss of sensation, or other short and long-term side effects. After we giggled at how silly we all looked, we began to practice yoga in a class that she led.

From the very first cue to raise my now-limited-arm, I felt a difference. I struggled to make my body move as I expected, but it was like swimming through cake batter; my movements were slow, difficult and my depth perception felt off. My mind ordered my arm to a certain place in space, but when I looked at it, my limb was in a different spot.

Within the first 10 minutes, I noticed how much harder it was to breathe and I was very warm, even though we had only done some gentle movements on the floor.

As we moved through the class, more students came to mind. I thought of the students who show up, week after week, even though their limitations are formidable. I thought of the ones who no longer come - some because they are no long here, and others I assume because they have moved on.

I sent my wishes for the well being of all of them with every labored exhale. By the end of the class, I was in awe of them. We were all speechless.

You can't really understand another person's experience until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

I knew their experiences with my head, but I didn't understand with my heart until I took this training. I'm so happy that I did, and will be ever grateful to Tari for handing me this particular pair of shoes.

Announcements

• Share my blog with others, and invite them to sign up. This is one of the best ways I have to get news out to you all!
• Starting THIS WEEK: Thursday 9am Yoga for Cancer Survivorship classes with Linda Toenskoetter at Cancer CAREpoint Resource Center. This is the latest of their 3 weekly yoga classes for cancer survivors!
• Remember, if you can't make it to class, you can always pop in my DVD, Healing Yoga for Wellness, available online at www.amazon.com and www.eBay.com, and in stores at Breathe Los Gatos, Pacific Healing Arts, Cancer CAREpoint resource center, East West Bookshop and Kaiser Mind-Body-Wellness center.
  

All is Not What it Seems

This is the story of how I lie to myself.

First, a little background. For the last month, I have set a goal to get to the studio early enough for a Mysore practice, a self-led sequence that requires both physical and mental stamina. Because I teach in the mornings at locations all over the Bay Area, I need to be there by 6:00 am in order to meet this goal.

Lorien in a pose called
Marichyasana C

This particular morning, I woke up before the sun, dressed, drank a glass of water, gathered my belongings for the day ahead (I planned to be out of the house until evening, so there were several things to gather) and left the house. It was especially important for me to be on time this specific day, because I needed to be done with enough time to shower, eat and get to Sunnyvale in heavy traffic by 8:30 am.

I pulled into the studio's parking lot at 6:30 am, grumpy that I couldn't get myself out sooner on an already limited practice day. As I was collecting my items from my car, I noticed that my phone wasn't among them. I remembered to bring my charger, but no phone. I was frustrated with myself, because I didn't have time during the day to run home to get it, and I had planned to do several things using my phone. With time slipping away, I silently cursed my forgetfulness and walked into the studio.

The next hour was a struggle - the toughest one since beginning this Mysore practice. I couldn't let go of my inner critic. I kept thinking of all the things I wasn't going to be able to do because I forgot my phone: emails I was too tired to send the night before, wishing my high school friend a happy birthday, texting my noon appointment to be sure we met in the right place, texting my daughter to be sure she knew I was picking her up, playing music for my new class, locating my new class, etc...

Stop me if any of this internal dialogue sounds familiar.

There are many poses to remember in the Mysore sequence, and I'm a newbie who's trying to keep my chronic pain at bay, so I practice only half of the sequence. Even still, I couldn't remember the order. My mind was elsewhere. I went through the motions and only occasionally grounded my awareness inside my body. When I noticed I had drifted, I berated myself even more, and the negative thoughts poured out of the dark corners of my mind like water from a leaky boat on rough surf.

The Ship by Salvador Dali

Crash! went a wave, and I remembered how I had hurt myself doing this practice before.

Slosh! went the water, and I thought that maybe this practice isn't meant for me.

Down the other side of the surf and up the next crest I went, feeling worse with each pose. It reminded me of the time I was aboard a boat in the Mediterranean, heaving over the side and we rose and fell, caught in a storm that had almost everyone aboard suffering with seasickness.

I didn't want help from the teacher or her assistant. I wanted to wallow in my inadequacies, to swim in those dark waters.

I ended my practice with enough time to get me to the next thing. Once on the road, I reflected on what had just happened. I missed feeling blissful and proud. I missed the distraction that my phone provided. As I sat in traffic, I examined my thoughts. I had recently been working with the concept that "life is made up of 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows", and noticed that I got caught up more in the sorrows than in the joys.

Well, this certainly was a morning that described that pattern of behavior. Once I realized this, I decided to embrace the joys. I listed the items that I did remember to bring with me, all of the things that I needed for the day. I reframed the day as an "old-school" day, knowing that I had once lived without the aid of a smart phone, and - gasp!- even a cell phone.

I can do this, I told myself.

As I reframed things, I noticed that traffic became less annoying. I focused on the interesting bird (was it a Chicken Hawk or a Turkey Vulture?) that sat above me on a wire, watching the commuters below with intense interest. I remained tuned in to my surroundings as I taught my morning class, ran my first errand and made my way to my next meeting. Somehow I found my way, all without the technology that I thought I needed.

I was just parking my car when my phone rang. From my purse.

What I thought I needed to make it though my day was with me all along.

I had lied to myself in the morning, and continued the lies as I practiced. If I had continued to believe those lies, I might not have made it through my day, whether or not I found my phone. Once I realized all of this, I heard my Mysore teacher's voice telling us one of her wise phrases:

"All is not what it seems."

The next time you tune in to your thoughts, see if you notice any of these patterns, and ask yourself what is true about your thoughts. As the lies drop away, remind yourself that things are not always as they initially appear.

Announcements

• Please see my schedule page for updates; 3 NEW classes for cancer survivors, and new locations!
• Sunday, September 15: Basics of Pranayama and Chanting; this 1-day workshop is at Mind-Body Zone in Fremont; see the Events page for more information.
• Share my blog with others, and invite them to sign up. This is one of the best ways I have to get news out to you all!
• Remember, if you can't make it to class, you can always pop in my DVD, Healing Yoga for Wellness, available online at www.amazon.com and www.eBay.com, and in stores at Breathe Los Gatos, Pacific Healing Arts, Cancer CAREpoint resource center, East West Bookshop and Kaiser Mind-Body-Wellness center.
  

Defining Yoga

When I tell people I teach yoga, they mostly respond with variations of the comment,“Oh, you must be very flexible.” Westerners often associate the word yoga with physical postures, but this is a very limited definition of yoga. For example, if I used this same approach with a music teacher, I might say, “Oh, you teach music? You must be very good at tuning an instrument.” Do not mistake all of yoga with asana – the Sanskrit word that refers to the posture or pose; that is only one part of it, just as a musician tunes his instrument, but that is not all of what he does to make music. 

Asana practice allows us to “tune” ourselves in preparation for the larger practice of living.

Photo credit: Chris Lombardi

Yoga refers to a joining of ourselves with a larger network, and you can define that network by your frame of reference. 

For example, if you narrow your focus to yourself, then a yoga practice will help you become more aware of your own sensation, breath, thoughts and emotions; if you widen your focus to include your relationships, a yoga practice will help you identify your patterns of behavior when dealing with others, and will help you cultivate compassion and equanimity in your relationships; if you expand your focus to view your community, a yoga practice will help you become more socially aware, ecologically sensitive and active in changing your world; if you focus on your relationship with a divine higher power, yoga can help you deepen your religious beliefs and spirituality. Asana practice alone cannot do this, but a yoga practice can.

Yoga reminds me that I always have a choice, no matter what my present situation. Whatever action I take (including non-action), I choose it with awareness of my sensations, my breath, my mind and my emotions.

When I explain to newcomers that my yoga class is like visiting a buffet, where some dishes are appropriate for you and others you might pass up today, they often giggle, but it is true that you have options in your practice. There is always the breath that you can feast on, and there is always awareness of your breath, body, thoughts and emotions that you can sample at any time. During times of stress, joy, pain, peace, laughter and tears, you always have a choice. Your life's journey will present you with many opportunities to choose, although you may not like your options, and you might mistake these choices for no choice. Don’t be fooled, you always have the power to choose, the option to breathe, to feel and to connect, which is what I define as yoga.

Announcements

• Please see my previous post about schedule changes coming in September.
• Share my blog with others, and invite them to sign up. This is one of the best ways I have to get news out to you all!
• Remember, if you can't make it to class, you can always pop in my DVD, Healing Yoga for Wellness, available at www.amazon.com, Breathe Los Gatos, Pacific Healing Arts, Cancer CAREpoint resource center and Kaiser Mind-Body-Wellness center.
  

Swan Medicine

In Native American culture, an animal appears to you in a dream, vision or waking life in order to offer you some medicine, or help with your life. The swan is my latest medicine.

My First Swan Appears

Swan Lake ballet

Between the ages of 4-14, I was convinced that I would become the next Prima Ballerina. Before I could attend ballet classes, I watched PBS performances, read books, played records that offered lessons (these were like pre-podcasts, for those of you who don't know what records are), and danced around to the music of Chopin, Debussy and Tchaikovsky. Swan Lake was one of my favorite ballets, because the music was so haunting and to a child, the choreography felt authentic: moving your arms like wings while peddling your feet as if your were in the water.

As a dancer, I was privileged to perform a famous part in the ballet, the dance of the four swans. (I can still bust it out, by the way!) I practiced the bowing swan movement over and over, pulling the grace and fluidity of the swan into my body.

During my years of dancing ballet, I experienced many injuries to my feet, ankles and back. We tried physical therapy, along with changing ballet schools, thinking that a different stress on my body could help, but it didn't. At the ripe old age of 16, I retired my ballet career.

The Swan Pose

Swan pose

When I was 29, I tried a yoga pose that really felt good. The teacher called it Pigeon Pose, but I've also heard it referred to as Swan. The pose took away much of my chronic back pain - almost instantly! And, it felt really natural. I later realized that this was the pose I had been adopting since I was a child. Later, when I was taught this pose in dynamic yoga classes, I would roll my back, which really connected with the swan bows I had done so many years before. This pose is one that I practice daily, and not just because it keeps my back pain at bay. It is a link to my past, present and future.

The Meditative Swan

My meditation timer

When I began teaching yoga to people with cancer, I knew that I had to develop coping practices. On some days, the calm I experienced in my morning meditations evaporated in the face of pain and suffering, and I would come home exhausted and heart-weary. I started visited a park in Campbell that has a lake where flocks of geese, ducks and a few swans live. I sat on a bench near the water and let the breeze blow away any sticky thoughts, resting my attention on my breath and the sensations of nature around me. At first, I set a timer so that I wouldn't keep peeking at my watch. I soon discovered that the birds at this park are very used to people feeding them. At exactly 13 minutes into my meditation, I could expect to become the subject of rivalry. The ducks came first, and if they didn't have goslings to tend to, the geese would come to scare off the ducks. Or, a great big white swan would come to check out what all the commotion was about - either gliding across the lake, or marching awkwardly across the grass, riddled with goose droppings. The swan never speaks to me, but I can feel its presence when it is about 3 feet away. I'm aware of its curiosity and strength. It usually stays nearby me and then drifts off when I make to leave. I always thank this powerful creature for letting me share space.

The Equanimous Swan

Last week was particularly emotional for me. On Sunday I led a memorial service for a student whose cancer had finally claimed her. On Thursday, I wasn't sure if my voice would hold up during the service, because my grief was showing up in my throat - offering the most horrible sounds as my heart tried to squeeze out its pain. I went to a friend's yoga class and was speaking to her about it. She offered me the image of the swan as a meditative focal point. The white swan can swim through the dirtiest water, then stop, shake and be brilliantly white again. She asked me to embody this quality of the swan: dive into the pain and difficulty, because it is what I am called to do, and then shake it off, rinsing it away to once again feel the clear, bright peaceful quality of my own inner swan.

Nearly 40 years after I first discovered Swan Lake, I am still learning from the swans. Thank you.

Announcements

• Please see my previous post about schedule changes coming in September.
• I'll be leading a 1-day yoga teacher training at Breathe Los Gatos on August 3 this workshop will teach how to meet a cancer survivor's needs within the context of a general yoga class. If you are a yoga teacher, you will need these skills at some point, no matter what class you teach. More and more people are living with cancer these days. If you are a survivor and you'd like your yoga teacher to get this training, please let him or her know about it. Click HERE to find out more.
• Please share my blog with others, and invite them to sign up. This is one of the best ways I have to get news out to you all!
• Remember, if you can't make it to class, you can always pop in my DVD, Healing Yoga for Wellness, available at www.amazon.com, Breathe Los Gatos, Pacific Healing Arts, Cancer CAREpoint resource center and Kaiser Mind-Body-Wellness center.
  

The Power of Music

I weep every time I hear "The Star Spangled Banner". Every. Single. Time. It's the break between the lines "o'er the land of the free" and "and the home of the brave" that gets me. Actually, it's the cheering and emotion of the crowd I'm in that usually takes me for the emotional ride. Music has that power.

You know how the painful memories are the ones that are most easily recalled? I can recall the happy times, and each and every happy memory comes with a soundtrack. Music evokes those joyful, free, limitless potential times in my memory, which makes it often funny for my family when I turn up a song by AC/DC and belt it out at the top of my lungs. "Mom, you like AC/DC?" They ask in surprise.

I can't help it. It takes me back to a summer day when I was in my early twenties, driving down the road with the windows down and the music turned up, feeling free. I remember turning left onto Blossom Hill Road, and a driver at the red light had his window down, listening to the same song as me. We were both singing, and our smiles and our volume picked up as I passed.

Drum circle with Heather Holland

Music uplifts and connects us.
Singing has always helped me process strong emotions.

For my fortieth birthday celebration, we hired both an extremely gifted drum circle facilitator named Heather Holland as well as the fun, talented Road Dogs classic rock band. People still tell me how much they enjoyed the drumming, singing and dancing!

Singing along with the Road Dogs

Why is music so moving? 

In my yoga studies, I've found answers: The Vedas are a collection of Indian Philosophy, text of which was originally chanted. Some verses still are. In the Vedas, we are taught that the human being has different koshas, or layers. The layer that relates to the mind and emotions, the manomayakosha, is influenced directly by sound. The words we listen to, the background noises and the music of our lives all feed this layer of emotion and thought.

In my western studies, I've also found answers: There is a part of the brain that turns on when we hear something, another part that turns on when we understand what we hear, and still another that is stimulated when we vocalize it.

We use more of our brain when we chant or sing.

Over a decade ago, I attended a yoga and chanting workshop, co-led by Samantha Brown and Suzanne Sterling. I hadn't yet decided to teach yoga; it was still the activity I did in order to maintain my life, but the thoughts were definitely there. During Suzanne's portion of the workshop, she taught us the importance of overcoming fear, of expressing our true thoughts and feelings, and how to notice what effects singing and chanting had on us. I was forever changed by that workshop. It cultivated my breath, my honesty, my self-empathy, my determination and, ultimately, contributed to me becoming a yoga teacher.

Suzanne is still offering her magic to the world, in big ways. On July 13, she will be at Breathe Los Gatos for a workshop called, "Rise Up". I highly recommend you check it out. For more info, go to the Breathe website, HERE.

Announcements:

• Special class: Lorien will be teaching a Yin yoga class on Friday, July 5 at 11am at Breathe Los Gatos; this is a drop-in class, but it will fill up fast, so pre-registration is advised. Sign up HERE.

Lorien's Healing Yoga for Wellness DVD is out! How to get your very own copy:

• Order from Amazon for $27.95, plus tax and shipping 
• Stop in to Breathe Los Gatos and get it today for $30, plus tax
• Buy it directly from Lorien for $27.19 (tax included, no shipping, you must pick it up in class)
• Coming soon to eBay, Kaiser Santa Clara, local yoga studios and many more...

Reflections on Teaching Yoga in a Chronic Pain Program

Artwork from:
http://criticalscience.com/chronic-pain-
psychosocial-interventions.html

This population is really limited... Some of them are addicted to prescription narcotics... Some of them have mental health challenges... They could be in a pain flare.

Do you think you can help?

The questions made me pause. Could I help? As I had been taught to do in yoga, I took a deep breath and checked in. I knew I wanted to help, but did I feel like I could be of service? The answer that came back was yes, so I laid out ideas and plans, and my interviewers glanced at each other and smiled at my enthusiasm. I was in a room filled with medical professionals who were redesigning their pain management program and wanted yoga, among other healing modalities, on the menu. I mentioned my own experiences with chronic pain, dating back to when I was a pre-teen, and how yoga had helped me. I was so full of idealism in that interview, and I was totally underprepared for what I was about to undertake. I’m grateful for that idealism, because I might have been scared off if not for it.

On my first day, there were 8-10 people in the room, and their pain was as diverse as them. Some could sit in chairs, and some could only sit for a few minutes; some preferred being on the ground, and some turned green at the thought of getting to the floor and back up again. We had chairs, a few padded mats, a few bolsters and some foam blocks. I had planned a yin yoga sequence, but realized quickly that this was not going to work. I started to worry,

what could I ask these people to do that wouldn’t hurt them?

I went through my yogic toolkit, and realized that all of these people could help themselves through pranayama. Good thing yoga isn’t solely about the body!

What they each had in common was that their nervous systems were stuck in a fight-or-flight mode because of their pain. As Dr. Palermo wrote in her post, pain triggers the stress response, and continual pain leaves the switch to the stress response fixed in the “on” position. My tool for the nervous system is always the breath. They might not all be able to get to the floor, or stand, or sit up, but they could all breathe. So, we started there.

Slowly, I eked out a sequence that supported most, if not all, of them. Together we found options for anyone who experienced pain or struggled to breathe during any part of the practice. I used Kelly McGonical’s book, Yoga for Chronic Pain Relief, as a guide, and I asked them to befriend their bodies and establish a relationship that wasn’t based on fear and pain. We joke about being less of a dictator and more of a coach of our bodies. Over and over, we emphasized – together – that the shape of the pose wasn’t the priority; the attitude, breathing, and observing were what really mattered.

When they weren’t doing yoga with me, they were practicing qi gong, walking or chair dancing, learning about their brains, their emotions, their diet and their habits. The team consists of psychologists, physicians, a pharmacist, a nurse, a Traditional Chinese Medical practitioner, a physical therapist, a Feldenkrais teacher and myself… a very well-rounded and holistic combination of providers.

Over the last year I’ve notices some patterns arise in the hundreds of patients that have come through the program. In the first few weeks, the patients are very fixated on their bodies and their sensations. The questions they ask me are indicative of this perspective: Am I doing this right? Is there a yoga pose for this body part / pain situation?

But at some point, the patients realize that 

it’s not about their body or their pain, but their relationship to both. 

For most people, that realization happens during the third week of the program, but some figure it out right away, while others report back months later that they now understand.

Pain and stress are on one side of a coin, with relaxation and service on the other, and emotions running along the edge of it. The tools that we offer them are mindfulness, compassion, presence, perspective and community; we use these tools to flip that coin from one side to the other. Some of the tools are packaged as yoga, and some are not, but the foundation is all the same.

Announcements:

• Sunday, June 23rd: Lorien will be offering restorative yoga demonstrations as part of Kaiser's Seeds of Hope Cancer Survivor Day. See Events page for info.

Lorien's Healing Yoga for Wellness DVD is out! How to get your very own copy:

• Order from Amazon for $27.95, plus tax and shipping 
• Stop in to Breathe Los Gatos and get it today for $30, plus tax
• Buy it directly from Lorien for $27.19 (tax included, no shipping, you must pick it up in class)
• Coming soon to eBay, Kaiser Santa Clara, local yoga studios and many more...

Yoga and Chronic Pain

I teach yoga as part of a chronic pain management and rehabilitation program through Kaiser. I asked one of the psychologists to write me a post that explains how chronic pain occurs. Here is the post from our wonderful Dr. Cassie Palermo:

Artwork by George Camacho

"From the first time that I practiced yoga, I was drawn to it. I appreciated the centering, calming, meditative aspect of it. It provides me with a path back to equilibrium when I lose my way. At times I feel compelled to prove my worth – both to myself and my team, as I judge myself against the more seasoned professionals with whom I work. I also lose balance when I strive for "more" and overdo it in my daily routine, and this imbalance takes me out of the moment. With its emphasis of "keeping my yoga on my own mat," focusing on my breath, and being aware of my body movement, posture, and alignment, I practice what I need to restore my sense of balance.

A year or two after I began incorporating yoga into my own routine, yoga became part of my work, as well. I am a psychologist in a chronic pain program and the program now includes a yoga component. It turns out that yoga, among other smooth and gentle movement practices, is a healing approach for the management of chronic pain.

I say "it turns out," not because this discovery is coincidental, but because I have not always known as much about chronic pain and its management as I do now. What I have learned has come from observing the patients in the pain program and doing my own research.

Chronic pain is essentially a disorder of the central nervous system, 

though it becomes quite complex when looking at all that is involved in the way the brain processes pain. However, we must first understand that pain actually serves a purpose.

We are hardwired to interpret signals – sent by nerve endings – as pain, in order to avoid physical damage and/or death. For example, if we put our hand on a burner we do not initially know is hot, we are able to respond by pulling our hand away before we consciously become aware that the burner will indeed singe our skin. Likewise, when something startles us, our system shows a response before we make sense of what has caused the alarm. Once we realize that a friend has jokingly jumped out to scare us, we then experience our rapid heart rate, our tense muscles, and the surge of adrenaline that is already starting to drain. When we feel this, we are experiencing the sensations related to the "fight or flight" response.

In this automatic response, the central nervous system receives input that that there is danger and the potential for harm, and takes action to either gear up and fight to protect, or take flight to distance or avoid. Our brain, part of the central nervous system, is wired so we do not have to wait to consciously weigh our options of what to do. Before it's at the conscious level, our brain sends signals to increase heart rate, make our breath more shallow and rapid, decrease blood flow to the extremities so more is available for the vital organs, speed up our thoughts within the primal part of the brain focused on survival, increase adrenaline to delay the sense of pain and provide a surge of energy, and tense our muscles so as to gear up to meet the situation.

This happens with acute pain situations, such as putting your hand on a burner. Unfortunately, this also occurs with chronic issues, such as spinal stenosis, arthritis, degenerative disc disease, and multiple sclerosis

Since the trigger for danger is always present (chronic in nature, i.e. cannot be cured), the signals are continually being sent, translated as pain, and the central nervous system is responding with the fight or flight response. Right idea but wrong situation since, with the above-named issues, we cannot figuratively remove our hand from the burner nor is there necessarily further damage being done.

Chronic pain is the constant signaling of danger, resulting in over activity of the central nervous system and the fight or flight response.

So, what can we do to deal with this automatic response? We actually have more control over our brains than we originally thought, and we can initiate the opposite (parasympathetic) response in our nervous system – and initiate it earlier and earlier, to catch and reverse these survival responses in order to return our system to a calmer, more sustainable state of operation. Practices like yoga, meditation, QiGong, and changing our thinking patterns do just that.

Seeing this transformation among the patients enrolled in the pain management program is profoundly rewarding. Having yoga be a part of that transformation reminds me of my own practice. I'm included in a larger system of change, and that encourages me that my part of the whole is enough; it brings me peace and balance, and makes my job worth doing."

Announcements:

• Sunday, June 23rd: Lorien will be offering restorative yoga demonstrations as part of Kaiser's Seeds of Hope Cancer Survivor Day. See Events page for info.
• Lorien's Healing Yoga for Wellness DVD is out! Go to Amazon to order yours today!

Fascia, Our Body’s Infrastructure

As a yoga teacher, I get asked many questions about pain. A common one is:

Why does an injury in one part of my body present pain in an entirely different part?

Logic would dictate that the area where you feel pain is the site of the injury or issue, but that doesn't always occur. 

If you’ve never experienced sensation that originates far from where it presents, then try this: open your mouth and place your right hand on your lower jaw bone; slide your jaw into your hand, but resist against it with your hand… and notice where you feel the sensation. Yes, there’s some feeling around the connection of your hand and jaw, but mostly you’ll feel this along the left side – the side where your hand isn’t. Why is that?

To answer that, think of Spider-Man’s costume, a tight second skin with a web design all over it. When he moves, the lines of the webs shift and move with him. Now, picture that web design under your skin, not on top of it. Each line of the webs are connected to each other, so when one spot tightens, tangles or is knotted (as in scar tissue), the rest of the web is affected - and the web is extremely sensitive. 

That web is called fascia, which is a type of connective tissue. These tissues range from light, easily affected “fuzz” to ropey, dense fibers. The following video shows some of the fascia in the forearm.

As the video shows, this web of fascia provides a container for nerves, blood and lymph vessels. When the fascial web contracts, we experience constriction on the nerves, in the blood vessels and the lymphatic system. Too much of this contraction may affect our systems in the following way:

• pain response and coordination
• circulation
• immune system

How do we loosen, untangle or release the adhesions in the fascial body? Massage is one method. Passive resistance through gentle yoga poses can also help, as well as tools that reduce overall stress, such as mindfulness and breathing exercises.

The next time you feel a pain response, ask yourself,

Where does this really come from?

You may be surprised by the answer, or you may not if your "Spidey-sense" is alert!

Announcements:

• Hear Lorien's interview on the Transformational Power of Yoga Telesummit.
• Next Kaiser Restorative Yoga for Cancer Survivorship 6-week series begins June 12 (ends July 24, no class July 3). Call 408-366-4284 to register.
• Tuesday, June 4th: Lorien will be offering gentle yoga demonstrations as part of Stanford's Cancer Survivor Celebration week. See Events page for info.
• Sunday, June 23rd: Lorien will be offering restorative yoga demonstrations as part of Kaiser's Seeds of Hope Cancer Survivor Day. See Events page for info.
• Stay tuned: Lorien's Healing Yoga for Wellness DVD will be out in June...

What Yoga is...

I have practiced yoga for 14 years. Early on, I was introduced to shalabhasana, or the locust pose, as a means to help my back. In every attempt to practice this pose, my legs were heavily earthbound, no matter how much flexibility I gained in my back or strength in my legs. After a while, I began to tell myself stories about this pose:

My arms are too short.
I'm not strong enough.
This pose is not for me.

I began to modify the pose whenever a teacher would offer it in class. I avoided teaching the full pose. I identified with what my mind told me, and embraced the justifications for rejecting the pose.

Last week, I stepped into a yoga class that changed so much for me. The teacher was visiting from India, and he and his wife taught several classes at the studio where I teach. I had heard great things, but had little expectations as I began this journey with him. He asked us to use our breath in a very different way, and then to explain why it was challenging to us. We all had stories about why we couldn't do what he was asking us to do; he neatly and succinctly exposed these stories as false - like removing training wheels, then pushed us to try more.

And then came shalabhasana.

He asked me why I wasn't lifting my legs. I gave him my stories, and he - kindly - refused to believe them. He then explained how I needed an experience to prove it to myself, and that I would then be able to practice the pose forever after that. By adding a small prop, I was able to lift my legs skyward with minimal effort. And so I tried it again. And again, but without the prop. My legs joyfully rose. I tried it the next day, and had the same experience, as well as the days after. So, what happened?


Did he magically transform my arm length, my strength or change the pose so that it was "for me" now?


No. He reminded me what yoga is. From Yoga Sutra 1.2 (Gary Kissiah's The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali),

"Yoga citta vrtti nirodhah: Yoga is the cessation of the misidentification with the modifications of the mind."

My mind had modified reality to fit a concept of my ego: this pose is not for me. I misidentified with this story; I believed it... for a long time, too. By pushing us with our breath, and then giving me an experience that I was convinced I couldn't have, I realized how much I was believing that wasn't necessarily true.

This all happened just 2 days before my Kickstarter campaign was scheduled to end, when I wasn't sure that I could raise the $18K to make the video project a reality. After the class, though, 

I started to doubt my doubts. 

Maybe they, like my thoughts about locust pose, were wrong.

It turns out I was right about being wrong. We reached our Kickstarter goal, raising over $18K, thanks to all of you!!! Since then I've now been wondering, 

What else have I been modifying and misidentifying? 

What have you?

Announcements:

• Hear Lorien's interview on the Transformational Power of Yoga Telesummit.
• Next Kaiser Restorative Yoga for Cancer Survivorship 6-week series begins June 12 (ends July 24, no class July 3). Call 408-366-4284 to register.
• Tuesday, June 4th: Lorien will be offering gentle yoga demonstrations as part of Stanford's Cancer Survivor Celebration week. See Events page for info.
• Sunday, June 23rd: Lorien will be offering restorative yoga demonstrations as part of Kaiser's Seeds of Hope Cancer Survivor Day. See Events page for info.
• Stay tuned: Lorien's Healing Yoga for Wellness DVD will be out in June...

Got My Back? Pledge Matching Begins Today!

I am so excited to announce that I now have a backer who is willing to match new pledges for my Kickstarter campaign!

Between now and May 2, every Kickstarter pledge made will be matched, up to $8,000.

So, please help me get the remaining pledges needed for this project! If you've already backed me, but want to increase your pledge, that will count towards the matching. If you haven't backed me yet, please consider doing so. These videos will help so many people. If you cannot back me, please let people know about the campaign so that others can.

Send this email to anyone who:

• loves yoga
• has chronic pain
• has physical limitations
• is healing from injury or illness
• has chronic stress
• has difficulty getting to a yoga class
• is taking care of someone with any of the above situations

I can't wait to get this funded so I can share these videos with people in hospitals, clinics, support groups, as well as anyone going through challenging times.

Here is the link to the Kickstarter page, where people will need to register and pledge: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/yogabylorien/healing-yoga-for-wellness-video.

No money will be exchanged unless I receive my goal of $18,700 by May 2. Please help me get there!